As I was traveling through the George Bush International Airport at Houston (which George is not always clear) last week, I had the occasion to stand in the security line and take off my shoes. There was one of those canned recordings playing that usually reminds you not to leave your luggage unattended or take materials from anybody with an Al Qaeda T-shirt. In this case, however, it advised me that "inappropriate jokes or language" during the screening process would render me subject to arrest. Being too damn curious for my own good, I ventured a conversation with the bored TSA agent who had just used his decoder ring to discern that my driver's license carried the Ovaltine seal of approval, asking him what exactly constituted "inappropriate language." (I knew that "inappropriate jokes" would revolve around box cutters and bombs in my luggage--I'm not a complete freaking idiot.) He looked at me, apparently examining my chin for moron drool, and...