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I was never very good at catch-phrases....

Years ago, I served in the military with a guy named Dave who had nn earthly idea how to do his job (which sucks, because his job was evacuating wounded and injured soldiers), but man he could get a name or a phrase to catch on.

It was amazing. He had this sixth sense for what people would be willing to repeat.

I could never do that, and I still can't. But I haven't given up trying. Maybe some day at least one or two people will begin using terms I've coined.

These are my best efforts here, to date:

Demopublican: the dual manifestation of monopolistic political organization in the US.

The Republican Wing of the Demopublican Party: primarily funded by Big Oil, Big Corp, and Big War for the purpose of insuring that everybody around the world hates us enough to keep up demand to purchase new military hardware.

The Democratic Wing of the Demopublican Party: primarily funded by Big Union, Big Entertainment, and Big Soros for teh purpose of insuring that American society is fragmented into as many disparate pieces as possible, all in line looking for a patronage hand-out.

The Sign of Ass and Pachyderm: the coat of arms under which the two of them operate (the Constitution got all tattered and wrinkled, so they had to find something better).

Turd Parties--a new one!-referring to the reluctance of the average American vassal to step into something new that might stick to his/her boots and mark them off as socially ineligible for hand-outs or contracts .

Prottacking: what you do in Delaware politics when you feel like piling on someone outside the mainstream of the patronage system, oblivious to the fact that doing so ruins your own credibility and makes you look just as petty as you think he is.

Rad-baiting: what you're apparently doing any time you disagree with Dana Garrett.

Undercapitalization: a condition in which you either forget about the shift key when you are creating your internet handle (or, alternatively, you mother was scared by a Ken Kesey novel while you were in vitro).

See? It's true. I'm not funny or capable of creating trendy phrases. That's why most of my stuff sounds pretty damn wonkish (and even Tom Noyes thought of that first).

So occasionally, just every once in a while, use one of them and throw me a bone.

Comments

Anonymous said…
When it comes to Dana Garrett, you had it right before alliteration.
These are great ! I think "Prottacking" and "Turd Parties" are the best.

I just don't understand why people on the "inside" seem to despise Protack so. My gut reaction is that he poses a threat to the powers that be, otherwise why bother being so petty?
Anonymous said…
Work on your definitions and you could be funny.

Question: what is your interpretation of piling on?

curious because in context, it seems to be different than mine...
Anonymous said…
Remember O'Toole's Rule:

"It doesn't HAVE to make sense."
Delaware Watch said…
Oh, do let me play by punning on the quite late Sir Isaac Newton.

“Newtonian Histrionics”: The principles explaining the reflexive cheapshots and ad hominem attacks Steve Newton engages in whenever he is acted upon by the immovable gravitas of refutation by superior logic and factual historical citation. A more popularized version of the principles is “The predictable behavior of Steve Newton when he can’t take what he himself dishes out to others.”
Too wordy, Dana.

Try "Newtonian Histrionics": What happens when an unknowing object impacts an immovable intellect and then whines about the bruises."

Wherein, of course, you are free to make me the object and you the intellect if, on alternate Thursdays, I get to bash Huckabee all by myself.

I mean, if you're going to do me, put some real thought into it. I thought "RAD-baiting" at least had merit as a pun.
Delaware Watch said…
LOL! You are correct. Mine is too wordy and yours is much better.

I tip my hat to you. You are better at this than me. :)

Have you ever read the Devil's Dictionary? I read it years ago and though it was quite funny.
I read the Devil's Dictionary and liked it, but actually preferred the Pervert's Dictionary that was published in Penthouse back in the early 1980s. From memory:

Pervert: what you secretly suspect you are.

Perversion; what you have always secretly wanted to try.

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