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I Don't Myself Do Facebook or Twitter or MySpace etc etc....

.....but damn if this Twitter feed isn't hilarious. (Warning : contains profanity).

shitmydadsays

Name : Justin

Bio : I'm 28. I live with my 73-year-old dad. He is awesome. I just write down shit that he says :

"You need to flush the toilet more than once...No, YOU, YOU specifically need to. You know what, use a different toilet. This is my toilet."about 21 hours ago from web

"Don't touch the bacon, it's not done yet. You let me handle the bacon, and i'll let you handle..what ever it is you do. I guess nothing."11:15 AM Aug 22nd from web

"Your brother brought his baby over this morning. He told me it could stand. It couldn't stand for shit. Just sat there. Big let down."9:35 AM Aug 20th from web

"Love this Mrs. Dash. The bitch can make spices... Jesus, Joni (my mom) it's a joke. I was making a joke! Mrs. Dash isn't even real dammit!"9:28 AM Aug 19th from web

"The dog is not bored, it's a fucking dog. It's not like he's waiting for me to give him a fucking rubix cube. He's a god damned dog."10:43 AM Aug 18th from web

"They serve Jim Beam on airplanes. Tastes like piss. You wouldn't be able to tell the difference, because you drink shit. I don't."9:23 AM Aug 17th from web

"My flight lands at 9:30 on Sunday...You want to watch what? What the fuck is mad men? I'm a mad man if you don't pick me the hell up."2:42 PM Aug 15th from web

"It's watering plants, Justin. You just take a God damned hose and you put it over the plant. You don't even pay rent, just do it. Shit."9:56 AM Aug 14th from web

[Thanks to Radley Balko for the link.]

Comments

Anonymous said…
that is fucking hilarious...as good as textsfromlastnight.com
August 24, 2009 at 2:21 PM
Dave Gerber said…
After the principles of correct behavior and respectful attitude to others are laid in the nature of the child, a comprehensive development begins. It is considered absolutely normal if the day of the 3-year-old child is painted by the minute. Children can simultaneously attend English, mathematics, drawing classes, go to the theater group and sing.

Source - domyhomework
June 19, 2018 at 10:41 AM
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