Thursday, March 13, 2008

Hookers, Handmaidens & Client 9 (Elliot Spitzer)

While Becky the Girl in Shorts is sure someone wants to "swallow for Spitzer,"

and is equally sure that some misplaced cum could leave the soon-to-be-former Mrs. Spitzer in an even more enviable and powerful role than the “cigar and cum on the dress” impeachment of Bill Clinton left Hillary, I am not so sure.

All it proves to me is the fact that powerful men like to have powerful wives to handmaid them- when they cannot get handjobs from them.

It would have been better to compare Spitzer’s affair to the upcoming movie Love Ranch:

….The drama is inspired by the story of Joe and Sally Conforte, proprietors of the Mustang Ranch, the first legalized house of prostitution in Nevada. Boxer Oscar Bonavena was gunned down at the ranch in 1976, suspected of having an affair with the madam Sally.

Who his "Sally" was we can only guess. Wink, Wink.

It reminds me of the fact that in political circles hookers are always good news. At least they are not as rambunctious as “chubby interns.”

Hookers make for entertaining stories when powerful men are captiviated by the power of the cock and led into an imbroglio leaving everyone asking whose semen was put where when. Both Hillary and Silda, the soon-to-be former Mrs. Spitzer, proved themselves to be the penultimate handmaids of “irresponsible” and “child-like” husbands who the press can gleefully deride for being Democrats. Of course, Democrats launch shill at them too; you can even rate yourself at the Huffington Post to see how many diamonds you get at the Emperor’s Club….

At the same time, we are all reminded that to be a good handmaiden to the rich and horny, one must be like a good mother who can make “a village raise a child” and we are thankful to Silda for proving, "it takes a hooker to raise a husband."

But as a friend told me, “If you are a Democrat in politics, it is likely you are screwing around on your wife with a woman; if you are a Republican it is much more likely to be a man.” As Senator Larry Craig proved to the world after he held his “resignation.” So I think we should all take a moment to thank God it was a woman they found Client 9 with. It could have been much worse:

For the uninitiated out there, I will explain, the political classes of America eat up sex scandals faster than the Hollywood elite eat at Sushi Ikes.

The truth, when it comes out, may be much deeper and funnier, though more profoundly damaging to both Spitzer and the manhandler Becky assumes Mrs. Spitzer to be.

If anyone can match Hillary for the envious title of “handmaiden of the century,” I would have to click my ruby slippers and pretend I was headed back to Kansas and if the people of New York could swallow the fictions Client 9 used to try to persuade them to adopt the REAL ID, and give drivers licenses to illegal aliens, it just goes to prove that everyone wants to swallow a little Spitzer.

Special note to public officials- as a libertarian, I do not care what you do with your genitals, or whose genitals you do what with, but please make sure not to use public funds to do so. Thanks- Brian

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