Yesterday I was writing satire about the fact that Bai Ling was stopped for shoplifting in Los Angeles, though it was well known she did not do anything. It is amazing how prejudicial we are in America that the minute an Asian person picks something up in an airport an attendant, likely with a high school education, would immediately seek to follow, harass and then ask them to be detained. Only in LA I like to say. In this state it is more likely than not that average people will hold Asian people, generally, in very high esteem. Unless of course they are Russian and then we ask them to work at third rate jobs in Rehoboth Beach or Ocean City. But because of a similar family structure to pre-communist China, many native Delawareans may feel an affinity for Chinese culture they cannot explain. Much of that comes from Pearl S. Buck's work after she moved from Shanghai to Lancaster, Pennsylvania. In her notes, she too noticed the similarity, saying"....these farming families are more like the Chinese families I knew than....in other parts of the United States." There was some truth to that sentiment, and some fiction as Pearl Buck modelled some of her Chinese characters on Quaker farmers and their extended families in Lancaster County.
Delaware was a bastion of traditional agriculturalism until very recently, Lancaster County still is.My satire about Bai's situation underlies are very serious problem, when Bai Ling came to the United States it was after the demonstrations in Tianaimen Square, and her life as a whole is remarkable. She lived in Tibet as a young performer for the PLA. She shared some of the harsh experiences and had many more- than I have had in China- she often jokes that the whole story will be a movie, and it should be. For me, even the best among us are targets of satire- I mock myself with more ferocity than any public figure, problem is most of the time I am hard on myself I actually mean it. I started attacking myself this way when I was totally incapable of saving kids in the hospital in Asia.
I even hated myself for not having access to the medicines for them.
So many of the very sick kids I worked with in Asia admired Bai Ling, especially in Thailand, that young women's hair styles fluctuated with the release of her movies. And on her blog, I discovered not another shallow actor, but holy shit, she is a radical Libertarian without knowing it. After reading through her blog, I want to share some of the depth she expresses of her philosophy of life and one is amazed at how well she expresses it given how different Chinese is and how hard she has had to work to do it, and I wish I could express myself, in English and my emotions with the same sensitivity and depth. This is the beauty and gift of a true artist.
Here are excerpts from her blog that express a depth of love and passion I admire with gusto:
Beauty the sunset, its a still yet a moving emotional painting, the flag, the trees and the invisible wind, sits and waves in front, in front of my breathless heart, covered, covered the entire world, so much feelings, so much unspoken sweet sadness, so much beauty. I am sad with tears in my eyes can not stop, why am I such an emotional person and feels so much? it seemed like every movement the earth make, it strikes me like an unexpected storm, as it is what I am feeling right now......
He came to visit me unexpectedly like the harsh bright but sweet afternoon sun naked lying on the blue sky, almost blind me, took my breath away...... we got up in the late afternoon after my night shooting, felt I am walking on air and jumped into the red sea of the soft sunset clouds......
Evening unfolded us like an opened bottle of alcohol, we watched the UFC in a local club called "up town", then we played poker......sweet smoke colored my smile and his, it was exciting the fight, human animal went mad, I ate so much and the alcohol red my Body and my vision.
Strange the feeling that I have, I was locked here in Albuquerque, just when I looked around and knowing every corner in town and giving up and trying to find the world else where inside me, then there comes the surprise.
Then the sweet surprise will fly away just as the precious short Sunday will end now. This is life, just like the warm sunset, it touches and hurts you every time you lost in it. At this very moment I am writing, the sun breaks the snow and strikes me suddenly in my wet eyes, so bright, it lift my spirit, but I know another sunset just in the left Conor hiding, waiting for his flight to take off with a loud sound.
Where did I get this soul? Feeling every rain drop touches the leaves or touches a little boy's palm just when he lost his sight of his mother for one second. Dusts like the stars dancing in a slow motion shines the sunlight.
Nature repeat its melody, I said good bye watched he and his car took the snow flower away..... Snow, sunset, wind, brightness, darkness, confused my counting steps of walking...... Sunset, hope its not coming tonight, I don't want to hear the music and switch off my world.
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Those words, expressed coarsely, are some of the most beautiful natural sentiments I have heard expressed about life, desire, happiness and hopes in a long time. I was so touched and moved by these words that I could not wait to share them here with you, as they express feelings, emotions and an expressiveness in life I think we all aspire to. My grandfather's friend Pearl Buck would be very proud.
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