Tuesday March 4, 2008 Brian
On Critical Assignment in Poorastan,
near someplace no one really knows or cares about
While increasing pressure mounts on the Bush Administration to admit that while it took four years to win world war II, and has taken over six to win the global war on terror, a lone man with a camera has done the unthinkable and actually found out what may have happened to Osama Bin Laden. For details, watch here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cjxXX70_R0A
Following this Bush Administration officials told this reporter, "no comment." While former presidential candidate Rudolph Giuliani, known affectionately as "Rudy" to supporters, said, "since the events of 9/11 the country has been in an ideological struggle with radical islamo-fascism." When asked about the reasons why Osama is basically gone, he responded, "no comment."
One can only assume that the 9/11 phallus has repeatedly penetrated the American public's consciousness enough to ensure that every outrage is allowed under the 9/11 banner. It appears that the worst fear of democrats and republicans has occurred. A lone guy with a camera and a brain actually went out and found out what could have happened to Osama, and is we hear, still on the hunt.
The Democrats have conceded that they were defeated by a lone smart man with a camera, and praised his courage. The Republicans have vowed to fight on despite the overwhelming mountains of fact that continue to batter their ideological strongholds like Tolkien's Orcs attacking Mr. Roger's Neighborhood.
Alone among the others Senator John McCain said this was proof that normal Americans were "operating jointly with the axis of evil to destroy Obama Min Layden in Russia." While Senators Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton agreed that "a new strategy ensures we win, we need more lone smart guys with cameras." They differed sharply with Senator McCain who allowed his spokesman the Reverend Juan Hogee to speak for him. When asked Hogee said, "Bomb them all, the Apocalypse is coming now and we must create the conditions for the rapture though terrible destruction everywhere all at once." Adding to the idea that America is a hotbed of extremism and eliminating once and for all the idea that McCain was a "moderate" republican.
Following my repeated requests for information, including volunteering to dress in drag and rub my oiled body all over high ranking members of the republican party- this reporter was sent directly to press secretaries who asked me to touch myself on video first and then who declined to comment because this reporter is, well frankly, not so exciting. Sen. Larry Craig called my video the most offensive thing he has ever witnessed, before masturbating himself into unconsciousness.
This reporters eyes subsequently popped out and left pools of blood all over the floor of his third rate Poorastani hotel where later a congregation of bed bugs came to refresh themselves before eating his neighbors.
All of this hoopla leads me to ask, where did satire go? Did we decide to abandon humor along with the people we lost on 9/11? The horror of that day was very real. It was tragic on an inconceivable scale. But the horror of what we do to ourselves in its name is even worse. Was it at that date that the GLOBAL WAR ON HUMOR was launched under the code name operation DESTROY HAPPINESS?
The reporter would like to thank every right wing hack who thinks he is a god or lesser deity. And Chris Matthews for allowing me to rub his lovely democratic body with oil for the good of the story. Hugs and kisses Chris.
On Critical Assignment in Poorastan,
near someplace no one really knows or cares about
While increasing pressure mounts on the Bush Administration to admit that while it took four years to win world war II, and has taken over six to win the global war on terror, a lone man with a camera has done the unthinkable and actually found out what may have happened to Osama Bin Laden. For details, watch here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cjxXX70_R0A
Following this Bush Administration officials told this reporter, "no comment." While former presidential candidate Rudolph Giuliani, known affectionately as "Rudy" to supporters, said, "since the events of 9/11 the country has been in an ideological struggle with radical islamo-fascism." When asked about the reasons why Osama is basically gone, he responded, "no comment."
One can only assume that the 9/11 phallus has repeatedly penetrated the American public's consciousness enough to ensure that every outrage is allowed under the 9/11 banner. It appears that the worst fear of democrats and republicans has occurred. A lone guy with a camera and a brain actually went out and found out what could have happened to Osama, and is we hear, still on the hunt.
The Democrats have conceded that they were defeated by a lone smart man with a camera, and praised his courage. The Republicans have vowed to fight on despite the overwhelming mountains of fact that continue to batter their ideological strongholds like Tolkien's Orcs attacking Mr. Roger's Neighborhood.
Alone among the others Senator John McCain said this was proof that normal Americans were "operating jointly with the axis of evil to destroy Obama Min Layden in Russia." While Senators Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton agreed that "a new strategy ensures we win, we need more lone smart guys with cameras." They differed sharply with Senator McCain who allowed his spokesman the Reverend Juan Hogee to speak for him. When asked Hogee said, "Bomb them all, the Apocalypse is coming now and we must create the conditions for the rapture though terrible destruction everywhere all at once." Adding to the idea that America is a hotbed of extremism and eliminating once and for all the idea that McCain was a "moderate" republican.
Following my repeated requests for information, including volunteering to dress in drag and rub my oiled body all over high ranking members of the republican party- this reporter was sent directly to press secretaries who asked me to touch myself on video first and then who declined to comment because this reporter is, well frankly, not so exciting. Sen. Larry Craig called my video the most offensive thing he has ever witnessed, before masturbating himself into unconsciousness.
This reporters eyes subsequently popped out and left pools of blood all over the floor of his third rate Poorastani hotel where later a congregation of bed bugs came to refresh themselves before eating his neighbors.
All of this hoopla leads me to ask, where did satire go? Did we decide to abandon humor along with the people we lost on 9/11? The horror of that day was very real. It was tragic on an inconceivable scale. But the horror of what we do to ourselves in its name is even worse. Was it at that date that the GLOBAL WAR ON HUMOR was launched under the code name operation DESTROY HAPPINESS?
The reporter would like to thank every right wing hack who thinks he is a god or lesser deity. And Chris Matthews for allowing me to rub his lovely democratic body with oil for the good of the story. Hugs and kisses Chris.
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