Friday, February 22, 2008

Oh shit! Apparently, I'm not really a Libertarian after all....

... at least to Mother Jones.

Josh Harkinson has an interesting article on the Ron Paul phenomenon, Pauls' Apostles in the latest issue. It's an interesting read.

What captured my attention was the inset (unfortunately NOT duplicated in the on-line version) designed to bring the uninitiated up to speed on the varieties of Libertarian Theology:

Libertarianism might be a simple ideology, an aversion to big government in all its forms, but don't tell that to Libertarians....

Anarcho-Capitalists: The most radical of the lot, they want to abolish government entirely (though, unlike regular anarchists, the do support private property rights)....

Minarchists: Archrivals to the anarcho-capitalists, they support a minimalist view of government: Let the state handle roads, policing, and defense--but nothing more....

Cosmopolitan Libertarians: Term used by the minarchist editors of Reason to describe their embrace of world citizenship and deride rivals as hayseeds.

Economic Libertarians: Worship free-market absolutists like Milton Friedman.

Hippie Libertarians: Worship freedom-loving freaks like Larry Flynt.

Religious Libertarians: Worship deities of their choosing, care about politics primarily as it affects religious freedom....

Gold Bugs: Advocate a return to the gold standard, or some equivalent, as a way to diminish the fiscal powers of the state....

Objectivists: Followers of the philosopher Ayn Rand who love morality tales, hate anarchy, and endorse a scorched-earth foreign policy....

Neolibertarians: Libertarian neo-cons; big supporters of the Iraqi War.

Paleolibertarians: Old-schoolers who despise the neolibertarians for selling out to the system. Also think atheism is overrated.

Technolibertarians: Extropians, transhumanists, sci-fi fans, they strive to transcend humanity's meat-puppet limitations and take self-determination to the final frontier.

South Park Conservatives: Find their politics articulated in a show created by two avowed libertarians; a seminal episode follows a race for school mascot between a giant douche and a turd sandwich. Which, says Reason's Gillespie, "pretty much sums up who most libertarians approach politics."

Paultards: Blogosphere dis for those who annoy the online masses by relentlessly shilling for their man....


Problem: I don't appear to be in there. Nor do any other Pragmatic Libertarians like futurist and science fiction author David Brin, who is also a member of the Libertarian Reform Caucus.

Maybe that's why so many people in the Delaware blogosphere had a problem with me when I started this blog.

Mom always told me I was weird.

Moral of the story: most of the time, when people provide you with long lists of definitions for groups they don't belong to, you really shouldn't accept it as definitive.

4 comments:

Alan Coffey said...

I wonder if the same could be written of Republicans, Conservatives, Democrats and Liberals (Oops, they are going by the progressive tag this year).

So many labels.

Anonymous said...

How about Jeffersonian Democrat Republican?

Brian Shields said...

Don't worry, I'm not in there either.

What is with the categories? Everything has to be labeled, categorized, alphabetized, and then de-humanized.

I know it's human nature, but it's frightening.

Alan Coffey said...

"Perhaps it is not the categories, but the categorical thinking that is the problem."
Rev. Greg Chute, UUFN, 2/24/2008