DEAR CHINESE OVERLORDS PLEASE TREAT THIS HUMBLE BARBARIAN KINDLY

Nihau Overlord Comrades;

My one request of you comes before you dominate the entire world with your superior technology. Actress Bai Ling, was caught shoplifting in Los Angeles; she is very beautiful. I apologize deeply on behalf of all the peace-loving people of the world for her mildly deviant behavior; and I also apologize for America's outrageous response to the woman I call, "Her Sexiness."

I have one request for you dear leaders: May I please have her? Or will you send me to Hong Kong to live with her now? Or do I need to wait until after you have control of everything, everywhere and both she and I are too old to make one perfect child? I want one perfect child with Bai Ling. Will you give lesser-barbarian comrade that? I want to ride our bikes together through the old neighborhoods in Hong Kong and raise the red lantern every night? PLEEEASE.....

You can see her sad story here: http://kaaltv.com/article/stories/S347774.shtml?cat=10151

Thank you for your kindness and magnanimity dear overlords, I will pensively await your beneficent response.

With much respect and gratitude for your joyous assistance,

Comrade Bai-an

P.S. Overlord Comrades- I am prepared to post the entire text of the Song, "How Can I Not Love You..." from the movie Anna and the King on your site http://www.xinhua.cn/xinhua/ with my lesser-barbarian technology to meet this goal. :) Americans will let her go. So please help me. Thank you and love to you in advance my dears.

Please help free Bai Ling at http://ling-bai.blogspot.com/ I wrote directly to Los Angeles. Someone will have to tell me how it goes. Love you Ling. Bai-an.

Comments

Anonymous said…

I randomly came across this post, hilarious comrade. I too, am supportive of the cause and speak nothing but kind words to my chinese overlords.

March 22, 2008 at 8:27 PM

Comment Rescue (?) and child-related gun violence in Delaware

In my post about the idiotic over-reaction to a New Jersey 10-year-old posing with his new squirrel rifle , Dana Garrett left me this response: One waits, apparently in vain, for you to post the annual rates of children who either shoot themselves or someone else with a gun. But then you Libertarians are notoriously ambivalent to and silent about data and facts and would rather talk abstract principles and fear monger (like the government will confiscate your guns). It doesn't require any degree of subtlety to see why you are data and fact adverse. The facts indicate we have a crisis with gun violence and accidents in the USA, and Libertarians offer nothing credible to address it. Lives, even the lives of children, get sacrificed to the fetishism of liberty. That's intellectual cowardice. OK, Dana, let's talk facts. According to the Children's Defense Fund , which is itself only querying the CDCP data base, fewer than 10 children/teens were killed per year in Delaw

The Obligatory Libertarian Tax Day Post

The most disturbing factoid that I learned on Tax Day was that the average American must now spend a full twenty-four hours filling out tax forms. That's three work days. Or, think of it this way: if you had to put in two hours per night after dinner to finish your taxes, that's two weeks (with Sundays off). I saw a talking head economics professor on some Philly TV channel pontificating about how Americans procrastinate. He was laughing. The IRS guy they interviewed actually said, "Tick, tick, tick." You have to wonder if Governor Ruth Ann Minner and her cohorts put in twenty-four hours pondering whether or not to give Kraft Foods $708,000 of our State taxes while demanding that school districts return $8-10 million each?

New Warfare: I started my posts with a discussion.....

.....on Unrestricted warfare . The US Air force Institute for National Security Studies have developed a reasonable systems approach to deter non-state violent actors who they label as NSVA's. It is an exceptionally important report if we want to deter violent extremism and other potential violent actors that could threaten this nation and its security. It is THE report our political officials should be listening to to shape policy so that we do not become excessive in using force against those who do not agree with policy and dispute it with reason and normal non-violent civil disobedience. This report, should be carefully read by everyone really concerned with protecting civil liberties while deterring violent terrorism and I recommend if you are a professional you send your recommendations via e-mail at the link above so that either 1.) additional safeguards to civil liberties are included, or 2.) additional viable strategies can be used. Finally, one can only hope that politici

Search This Blog