DEAR CHINESE OVERLORDS PLEASE TREAT THIS HUMBLE BARBARIAN KINDLY

Nihau Overlord Comrades;

My one request of you comes before you dominate the entire world with your superior technology. Actress Bai Ling, was caught shoplifting in Los Angeles; she is very beautiful. I apologize deeply on behalf of all the peace-loving people of the world for her mildly deviant behavior; and I also apologize for America's outrageous response to the woman I call, "Her Sexiness."

I have one request for you dear leaders: May I please have her? Or will you send me to Hong Kong to live with her now? Or do I need to wait until after you have control of everything, everywhere and both she and I are too old to make one perfect child? I want one perfect child with Bai Ling. Will you give lesser-barbarian comrade that? I want to ride our bikes together through the old neighborhoods in Hong Kong and raise the red lantern every night? PLEEEASE.....

You can see her sad story here: http://kaaltv.com/article/stories/S347774.shtml?cat=10151

Thank you for your kindness and magnanimity dear overlords, I will pensively await your beneficent response.

With much respect and gratitude for your joyous assistance,

Comrade Bai-an

P.S. Overlord Comrades- I am prepared to post the entire text of the Song, "How Can I Not Love You..." from the movie Anna and the King on your site http://www.xinhua.cn/xinhua/ with my lesser-barbarian technology to meet this goal. :) Americans will let her go. So please help me. Thank you and love to you in advance my dears.

Please help free Bai Ling at http://ling-bai.blogspot.com/ I wrote directly to Los Angeles. Someone will have to tell me how it goes. Love you Ling. Bai-an.

Comments

Anonymous said…

I randomly came across this post, hilarious comrade. I too, am supportive of the cause and speak nothing but kind words to my chinese overlords.

March 22, 2008 at 8:27 PM

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