Saturday, April 19, 2008

A Dinner Invitation to Ted Turner

Billionaire mogul Ted Turner has warned that in about 30 years civilization will break down and we will all be cannibals for our failure to address global warming. If that is the case Ted I would like to invite you to my house for dinner. You can wear your famous after shave, what do they call it, oh yeah Hoisin Sauce.

Having lived most of my life in Asia, I think I could make good ginger and green onion dumplings out of your man-flesh Ted. You know like that Siberian lady did to her former lover.

Ted, I would like to introduce you to my family whose pictures I have sprinkled throughout the article.

Ted Turner: Global warming could lead to cannibalism Billionaire environmentalist says world has too many peopleBy MIKE MORRISThe Atlanta Journal-ConstitutionPublished on: 04/03/08

Failure to address global warming will have us all dead or eating each other by mid-century.

So says Ted Turner, the restaurateur, environmentalist and former media mogul whose controversial comments have earned him the nickname "Mouth of the South."

Ted Turner in a March 31, 2008 photo.
If steps aren't taken to stem
global warming, "We'll be eight degrees hotter in 30 or 40 years and basically none of the crops will grow," Turner said during a wide-ranging, hour-long interview with PBS's Charlie Rose that aired Tuesday.

"Most of the people will have died and the rest of us will be cannibals," said Turner, 69.

"Civilization will have broken down. The few people left will be living in a failed state — like Somalia or Sudan — and living conditions will be intolerable."

One way to combat global warming, Turner said, is to stabilize the population.

"We're too many people; that's why we have global warming," he said. "Too many people are using too much stuff."

Turner suggested that "on a voluntary basis, everybody in the world's got to pledge to themselves that one or two children is it."

Admitting that he's "always suffered from foot-in-the-mouth disease," Turner added, "I've gotten a lot better, though. It's been a long time since anybody caught me saying something stupid."

Turner went on to say that military budgets need to be cut "way back."

"Right now, the U.S. is spending $500 billion a year on the military, which is more than all 190 countries in the world put together," he said.

"The two countries that the military industrial complex and some of our politicians would like to demonize and make enemies are Russia and China," Turner said. "China just wants to sell us shoes. They're not building landing craft to attack the United States, and Russia wants to be our friends, too."

He said that despite the United States' huge military budget, "we can't win in Iraq."

"We're being beaten by insurgents who don't even have any tanks, they don't have a headquarters, they don't have a Pentagon, we don't even know if they have any generals," Turner told Rose.

Turner called the Iraqi insurgents "patriots" who "don't like us because we invaded their country and occupied it. Nobody likes to be invaded."

Well, if civilization breaks down Ted, make sure you make your way to my house where my family will greet you with bananas and paupau, and then give you own hut and let you get fat for a while before we have dinner with you.

The CNN founder also said he thinks his old network has veered too far away from serious news, instead favoring lighter stories delivered by attractive female "chickies" and opinion-based news such as Lou Dobbs' show. That is right Ted give them hell, and let's eat Lou Dobbs first, he is nice and plump; we could make some juicy roasts out of that porker. And your comments gave me an idea for a new government mandated program......

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